Have you ever said something and about a nanosecond later; wish you had not said it because it was hurtful and you knew it?
Often in the Believer’s walk things happen like this and we are left to deal with the fallout from those words. It seems like hurtful words from another believer are worse somehow.
The Bible teaches us to be encouragers and a people who can take the heat without having to respond with hurtful comments when people lash out. Is this easy to do?
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
It seems to me that this is one of the hardest parts of the believer’s walk! Being able to ‘NOT SAY’ what comes into our mind in different situations!
Unfortunately, our words can cause huge EXPLOSIONS in our lives as well as other’s lives! Often we do not ‘think’ before we are compelled to say what we think! Often we do not put into practice what Ephesians 4:29 says! Remember; the Scripture says to not only read but also to DO what the Word says!
Not too many years ago; an 18 year old girl was sentenced to life in prison for manslaughter because of the words that she said! Her words directly caused the death of another. I imagine that there have been many times since that she has thought about those things she said that put her in the position she is in.
It is sad that we ALWAYS see after the fact the hurt and problems that come along with ‘speaking our mind’! Wouldn’t it be so much better if we live out our lives in DOING what God tells us to do and only SAY what can be helpful and build others up?
Do we think about the things that we say that are hurtful? Perhaps we should ‘think’ BEFORE we have to ‘say’!
If we are constantly TELLING others how they should live and not committing our own selves to a life of learning how to live for the Lord – we may never find the way for ourselves!
God intends that we straighten up our own lives and tongues…not someone else’s! God desires and teaches us that we must live out what the Bible says to do in Ephesians 4:29! We should take it personally and change the way we speak and use our speaking to be encouragement to others.
Take a look at 2 Corinthians 12:20 “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.
What do you notice about this verse? Do you notice that ‘dangerous words’ have to be associated with each of these acts? None of them can take place unless we are using our tongues to speak it!
Out of our mouths comes quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. Paul is saying here that when he gets there they may find that he is too harsh and they ‘talked’ about him instead of ‘doing’ what he said and then he may get there and find that they are not obeying the Lord! Paul knew people! He was willing to stand up though and speak to the Corinthians honestly and explain to them the Truth!
Are we looking for the Truth today? Are we willing to stand up for the Lord on the matter of ‘dangerous words’? Someone’s soul may depend on it!
Let’s look now at some ways that we can begin or continue to ‘TAME THE TONGUE’!
· Using ‘Self Control’ ~ I have discovered in my life that this is a ‘Fruit of the Spirit’ and if I am not walking in step with the Spirit then it is hard for me to have self control. Self Control is a mature step in the building blocks of living out the Christian life! Galatians 5:22-25 says “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Notice here also that the ‘Fruit of the Spirit’ is something that must be spoken out in your life. It is the outward motion of the Holy Spirit in us; moving us to be in accord with all people!
· By ‘Purifying the Heart’ ~ If our heart is not on board with all the other functions of our body; then there is no way for the heart to be purified. Only the Lord can purify the heart. Matthew 12:34 “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” Jesus is saying this! He alone knows our hearts! Jeremiah 17:9-10 Until we turn toward the Lord and ASK Him to forgive us for our sin and ask Him to teach us the way to live through a purified heart; to ask Him for self control – we can’t change. We can change the outward appearance; but God alone knows the heart and that is what we will be judged on! It is so important that we understand this concept! If we want to change the way we speak words; we have to change the way our heart functions!
· Taking inventory of our ‘Character In Christ’ ~ Again, this is something that only you and God can do together. Matthew 15:18 “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.” Our character in Christ is built on the principles we begin to put in place after we become a believer! Have we been putting the principles in place? Are we molding our character after Christ? That is the desire of God – that we would attempt to live out a life lived for Jesus. The only way to do that is to surrender to the Lord on a daily basis…sometimes it has to happen more often than daily. This does NOT make us weak! It makes us build character in the One and ONLY! It keeps our hearts soft and our spirit in step with the Holy Spirit!
The idea is that in this life we would want to follow after Christ in such a way that His self control, purity of heart and character would show through us to lead others and to shine His light! When we are willing to do these things; God has a wonderful way of teaching us to stay away from ‘dangerous words’ that damage others, relationships and even drags us down by using them!
We start today taking ‘dangerous words’ out of our vocabulary by following these guidelines to an even closer walk with Christ! We will NEVER want to be the same again!
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